belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
