I'm really into asian looking animals
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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