dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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