Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
