all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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