How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
