Ambien. No doubt about it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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