we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
