I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
