why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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