No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So many bounce houses so little time
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
