your parents love me but you hate me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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