mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
