We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
