omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
