Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
