idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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