i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
