yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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