i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
