New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
