Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
