Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
