Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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