just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
