We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
