You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
