She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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