the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
