Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
