Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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