i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
