Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
