I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
