He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
ttyl tear gas
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
