You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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