He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
