you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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