dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
