my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
someone owes me an orgasm
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize
