We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
