I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
