Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
