I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
