Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
