It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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