Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
