I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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