Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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