I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
