I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
