i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
